


Her

by SlimyPennies



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: Angst, F/F, PTSD, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, im fuckin depressed lol, no real shippy moments so like no tag okay thanks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 07:58:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11778771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlimyPennies/pseuds/SlimyPennies
Summary: Lillie has PTSD. Nobody can help her.





	Her

The best times and the worst times came when Lillie was alone.  
  
It was a 50/50 split, honestly, a random flip of the coin that decided whether she would think about happy things, or go back through her brain's catalogue of everything bad that ever happened to her.  
  
The worst of the worst was when she thought about  _her._  
  
Even when Nebby was with her, Lillie would sit there, motionless, nerves burning as she relived every moment in her own mind, second by agonizing second slowly crawling as her vision blurred from reality to her memories.  
  
_Her_  voice. The scent of  _her_  perfume. The slow burning of  _her_  hands going down-  
  
No.  
  
At first, Lillie scratched herself. Her stomach, her thighs, her chest, places she could cover up, but places  _she_  always saw later.  
  
Lillie could never concentrate.  
  
She tried her hardest to listen to every single word that came out of Moon's mouth, and she did hear it, but her brain couldn't for the life of her register it as actual words. As far as Lillie was concerned, Moon could have been talking in a brand new language. She quietly sighed, feeling her eyelids get heavy with stress. Everything felt like a big room, one she was thrown into, lined wall to wall with televisions, all playing static. You could look, but it would just be static. You could try to distinguish between this static and that static, but it's all the same. The crackling noises are agony.  
  
Thinking about  _her_  made the noise and flashing black and white absolute sensory hell.  
  
Lillie didn't like being touched.  
  
Hau sometimes forgot and hugged her, and it took all her effort to not cry, even if he only did it for a second before remembering. Lillie would stand there, biting on her lip, eyes going shiny and face trembling as she tried to not break down.  
  
Sometimes she did.  
  
It was always for the worst reasons, like maybe she would smell something that was like  _her_ , or maybe someone mentioned Moon's adventure, how Moon defeated  _her._  
  
Shuffling under the moonlight that crept through the crack between her bedroom curtains, Moon chuckled quietly, face only inches from Lillie's, straddling her.  
  
"You ready for this?"  
  
"Y-Yeah." Lillie lied.  
  
Touching, touching, touching. Slow touching, sensual touching, gently caressing her. Warm. Soft.  
  
Everything about it was right, but it felt so wrong.  
  
Scratching against her back.  
  
Was Moon's nails always this long? No, no, that would get in the way of her outdoorsy rumbles.  
  
Maybe she just forgot to trim them.  
  
Then... why does she smell so nice?  
  
The scent of perfume penetrated Lillie's nose. Funny how something that could smell so nice hurt so badly.  
  
Flashbacks.  
  
In the past,  _she's_  caressing her, soft hands going down her back, down, down, down...  In the present, Moon's trying to undo Lillie's bra.  
  
Tongues.  _Her_  tongue felt like some hideous act in of itself, not including what  _she_  did what it. Lillie shuddered.  
  
Nobody knew, nobody knows, nobody knew, nobody knows.  
  
Lillie is crying. Is it here? Now? Back then? Where? When?  
  
Where is she? White walls, white floor, white white white-  
  
Aether.  
  
Locked doors, sinful acts, body secrets. Don't tell anyone. Pleading, pleading, pleading. This is wrong, this is so wrong.  
  
Dim lights,  _she's_  pretending Lillie's someone else and Lillie's pretending she's elsewhere.  
  
Hands. There's only two, but it feels like more, so much more. Hands upon hands touching her everywhere, leaving nothing untouched, staining everything. Pulling, squishing, massaging, hitting, everything, everything.  
  
Lillie's overwhelmed, heat rising in her stomach. Natural reactions to touching.  
  
Something's inside her. She doesn't know what, she's just trying to block it out.  
  
"L-Lillie?"  
  
Don't think, don't think, don't think, it's an impossible mantra, but something for her to focus on. Don't think.  
  
"Lillie?"  
  
She unwillingly let out a hot breath as something hit one of her sweet spots.  
  
"Lillie, please."  
  
Sinful, sinful, sinful, sinful, sinful-  
  
"Lillie!"  
  
Rough hands on her shoulders. Nothing else.  
  
Brown eyes staring back at her.  
  
Lillie looked down. Her pants weren't even off.  
  
"Lillie." Moon said gently, "We can stop if you want to. Do you want to stop?"  
  
Words are strangled in her throat. Lillie nods.  
  
"Do you need anything?"  
  
You.  
  
Everything to be okay.  
  
Get rid of these memories.  
  
Lillie shakes her head.

**Author's Note:**

> made june 7th, forgot to fuckin upload


End file.
